During the day, I can busy myself and pretend, even through the discomfort, that I'm OK. It's the dreaded shower that slams me back into reality.
The nurses warned that I needed to have someone there when I showered for the first time after the surgery. And they weren't kidding. It was the closest I have ever come to fainting.
Nervous even before I got undressed, I was shaking by the time Scott, my wonderful husband, helped me off with this huge thing they call a bra. The combination of seeing the drain tubes beneath my skin and the huge surgical scar where they used to be a breast was devastating. Scott sat with me while I shook, sweat, and tried not to faint. I think I cried through most of the shower while Scott washed my body and hair.
The subsequent showers have been slightly better. I still cry, but I keep my eyes far away from the mirror and I don't look down.
Always the strong one, Scott reminds me that this is only the first stage and that after all of this is over, I'll have brand new breasts. It seems like a long way away.
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Sue Sassmann's fight against breast cancer.
About Me
- Sue Sassmann
- A day after my 38th birthday, I was diagnosed with invasive ductal carcinoma. As a wife and mother of three beautiful daughters, I never imaged my life would take this path.
Behind the Scenes
Background for what's going on now...I was diagnosed on Friday, March 28, 2008 with breast cancer—infiltrating ductal carcinoma (also called invasive ductal carcinoma). Atypical cells–cells that, for an unknown reason, mutated as they grew–have collected in the ducts in the breast. At some point, these atypical cells broke through the duct wall, and started moving into the surrounding tissue. This is when the cancer crossed the line from DCIS–ductal carcinoma in situ–to invasive (infiltrating) ductal carcinoma–IDC. It’s the most common type of breast cancer.
I am ER (estrogen receptor) and PR (progesterone receptor) positive and HER2 negative. All that basically means is that my prognosis is good and I’ll respond well to treatment. Blood work and chest x-ray are clear!
After the MRI, it was determined that the right side is clear, but they found another spot on the left closer to the breast bone. Because I’m opting for the mastectomy on the left, they don’t have to test it, they’ll just remove it.
Surgery was April 28 and the results of the surgery weren't as good as we had hoped. The surgery and the mastectomy went alright, however they found cancer cells in the lymph gland nearest the cancer. Dr. Radford took out the remaining lymph glands on the left side. We are looking at aggressive chemo in hopes of killing any remaining cancer cells and reconstruction looks like it'll be in three months or so.
I am ER (estrogen receptor) and PR (progesterone receptor) positive and HER2 negative. All that basically means is that my prognosis is good and I’ll respond well to treatment. Blood work and chest x-ray are clear!
After the MRI, it was determined that the right side is clear, but they found another spot on the left closer to the breast bone. Because I’m opting for the mastectomy on the left, they don’t have to test it, they’ll just remove it.
Surgery was April 28 and the results of the surgery weren't as good as we had hoped. The surgery and the mastectomy went alright, however they found cancer cells in the lymph gland nearest the cancer. Dr. Radford took out the remaining lymph glands on the left side. We are looking at aggressive chemo in hopes of killing any remaining cancer cells and reconstruction looks like it'll be in three months or so.
3 comments:
Sue,
I am so very proud of you words just cannot say. I know you have a long road ahead of you and I pray for Gods strength to be with you. You know you have the love and support of your family. Keep you head held high because you have more strength than any of us. I love you girl.
Aunt Pat
Sue,
I am so proud of you, words just can't explain! I know you have a long road ahead, but you are very strong and God is right there with you to lean on. Keep your head held high because you are a very special person.
Lots of love,
Aunt Pat
Keep the faith, my friend. You have already come a long way.
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