Eight to Go

Having trouble sleeping tonight so I thought I'd update everyone.

Other than the overall body soreness, which isn't fun, but can somewhat be controlled, I've had some weird, but "normal" side effects to the Taxol. The first round there was some tingling in my toes. It almost felt like I had been walking all day in tennis shoes that were slightly small. Wasn't awful and hasn't happened again.

Second round my fingertips started peeling. No pain involved, but a strange feeling. Will be interesting to see if it happens this time.

And then there are the hot flashes. I get several on and off throughout the day, but the nights seem to be the worst. To the point where they wake me up. And sometimes Scott when I throw the covers on and off--sorry honey! I'll be happy to see these go, but there's not guarantee they're going to end when the treatment does.

I have my next treatment on Thursday and then get to skip a week for a long-awaited and long-needed vacation. It's my parent's 40th wedding anniversary and in lieu of a party, they wanted us all to go somewhere as a family.

Becky and I did some research and we're off to the Destin area for some sun and relaxation. We rented a house right on the beach! The only thing missing will be our three new family members. Becky and Eric are in Russia as I type meeting their children for the first time. You can catch up on their travels on Becky's blog.

My hope is that some rest and relaxation will enable me to come back more focused and in control. I have a lot going on with the kids, Becky and Eric, and work and have been lacking focus. A change of scenery may be just what I need...I hope!

Three Down

I've had three rounds of Taxol thus far and I've got to tell you, it's much much better than the AC! I've had some tingling in my toes and fingers and soreness in every part of my body.

When I explained the soreness to my neighbor yesterday, she said it sounded like being in labor (with a lot of back labor). That would pretty much sum it up. Several Tylenol and the occassional pain pill make it go away.

I still get tired easily, but I've been trying to add some exercise back in. I'll let you know how it goes.

Taxol

Yesterday, I had my first Taxol session. I was nervous going in since my last AC was so bad and I wasn't sure how this would affect me. It was also the first time real time they were going to use my port. The last time the surgeon left the needle in and I went straight to chemo. To my surprise, using the port was painless and much easier than being stuck with a needle three or four times to find a good vein.

With the AC treatments, I was given a drip of anti-nausea medication and a steroid called decadron prior to receiving chemo. I also took another anti-nausea med called Emend.

With Taxol, I get to skip the anti-nausea meds as nausea is not a major side effect, but Taxol, does comes with its own set of side effects. One of which is allergic reactions. To deal with this, they include Benadryl in my before-chemo meds.

Using Benadryl for the occassional allergies has knocked me out in the past and this was no different although it took effect much quicker. I ended up sleeping through about an hour of the 2 1/2 hours of treatment.

Mom and I were starving after treatment so we ran by Bread Company. While eating a piece of bread, a portion of my back tooth broke off. It was one I knew was broke and Dr. Wilmes and I had talked about fixing it. Then breast cancer sidetracked me. But yesterday I had no choice and the office got me right in. Thank you, Dr. Wilmes!

I worked the rest of the day from my couch where I could lean back. I was surprised how fairly normal I felt. No nausea, but an increase in hot flashes as pre-menopause is a common side effect.

This morning I feel pretty good so I'm hoping that my side effects stay to a minimum this time! Stay tuned.

Emotional

This last treatment has left me almost feeling like quiting the race. Side effects have seemed to get worse everytime and physically and emotionally, I am beat.

I feel like I go to work, then come home to bed. There hasn't been much interaction with the girls and it showed--I just didn't have the energy. The younger two were fighting more than usual and were extra obstinate. Alexis left to stay with my parents.

Although they know I am sick, it's been hard for them to see me like this. I've felt like a failure as a mother and it sucks. Everyone is on edge and I know it's because of me. It's one of the few times where I question the fairness of it all. What did I do that was so bad to deserve this?

As I begin to feel better, these feelings begin to fall away too--thank God! The girls are better and we're looking forward to a nice long weekend with family and friends.

My hope is that the next 12 rounds are easier (as the doc and nurses claim they are) and that my life can get back to some sense of normalcy.

Thanks to my loving husband who continually tells me how beautiful I am and for carrying more than his fair share of the load, to my parents and in-laws who step in to give the girls a break, and to my friends for being there to check in on me.

Let's get these 12 out of the way and move on!