This last treatment has left me almost feeling like quiting the race. Side effects have seemed to get worse everytime and physically and emotionally, I am beat.
I feel like I go to work, then come home to bed. There hasn't been much interaction with the girls and it showed--I just didn't have the energy. The younger two were fighting more than usual and were extra obstinate. Alexis left to stay with my parents.
Although they know I am sick, it's been hard for them to see me like this. I've felt like a failure as a mother and it sucks. Everyone is on edge and I know it's because of me. It's one of the few times where I question the fairness of it all. What did I do that was so bad to deserve this?
As I begin to feel better, these feelings begin to fall away too--thank God! The girls are better and we're looking forward to a nice long weekend with family and friends.
My hope is that the next 12 rounds are easier (as the doc and nurses claim they are) and that my life can get back to some sense of normalcy.
Thanks to my loving husband who continually tells me how beautiful I am and for carrying more than his fair share of the load, to my parents and in-laws who step in to give the girls a break, and to my friends for being there to check in on me.
Let's get these 12 out of the way and move on!
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Sue Sassmann's fight against breast cancer.
About Me
- Sue Sassmann
- A day after my 38th birthday, I was diagnosed with invasive ductal carcinoma. As a wife and mother of three beautiful daughters, I never imaged my life would take this path.
Behind the Scenes
Background for what's going on now...I was diagnosed on Friday, March 28, 2008 with breast cancer—infiltrating ductal carcinoma (also called invasive ductal carcinoma). Atypical cells–cells that, for an unknown reason, mutated as they grew–have collected in the ducts in the breast. At some point, these atypical cells broke through the duct wall, and started moving into the surrounding tissue. This is when the cancer crossed the line from DCIS–ductal carcinoma in situ–to invasive (infiltrating) ductal carcinoma–IDC. It’s the most common type of breast cancer.
I am ER (estrogen receptor) and PR (progesterone receptor) positive and HER2 negative. All that basically means is that my prognosis is good and I’ll respond well to treatment. Blood work and chest x-ray are clear!
After the MRI, it was determined that the right side is clear, but they found another spot on the left closer to the breast bone. Because I’m opting for the mastectomy on the left, they don’t have to test it, they’ll just remove it.
Surgery was April 28 and the results of the surgery weren't as good as we had hoped. The surgery and the mastectomy went alright, however they found cancer cells in the lymph gland nearest the cancer. Dr. Radford took out the remaining lymph glands on the left side. We are looking at aggressive chemo in hopes of killing any remaining cancer cells and reconstruction looks like it'll be in three months or so.
I am ER (estrogen receptor) and PR (progesterone receptor) positive and HER2 negative. All that basically means is that my prognosis is good and I’ll respond well to treatment. Blood work and chest x-ray are clear!
After the MRI, it was determined that the right side is clear, but they found another spot on the left closer to the breast bone. Because I’m opting for the mastectomy on the left, they don’t have to test it, they’ll just remove it.
Surgery was April 28 and the results of the surgery weren't as good as we had hoped. The surgery and the mastectomy went alright, however they found cancer cells in the lymph gland nearest the cancer. Dr. Radford took out the remaining lymph glands on the left side. We are looking at aggressive chemo in hopes of killing any remaining cancer cells and reconstruction looks like it'll be in three months or so.
2 comments:
Sue,
My heart goes out to you. I can't imagine what you are going thru and you have a right to feel a pity party every once in a while. I still say you are doing great! You are a very strong person and with the help of God and family and friends you will get thru this and if it takes yelling, crying or feeling sorry for yourself that is ok. I am glad you are starting to feel better for the holidays. Hopefully you can enjoy them. Hang in there girl and you are always in my prayers.
Aunt Pat
Sue,
I will continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I am praying that the next 12 treatments will be easier for you.
Angel Barbara ^j^
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