Fill 'Er Up

When Dr. Nathan put in the expander, he filled it up about 40%. I went in yesterday and got my first "fill."

I was a little nervous going in, especially after seeing Annie walk in with two huge vials of saline. Dr. Nathan immediately put me at ease and reminded me that we could do this reconstruction as fast or as slow as I wanted. I'm opting for the faster route, but not too fast!

At the top of the expander, there is a port. Different from my "chemo" port as it doesn't stick out. You find it be placing a small tool with a magnet on my breast and marking it. I didn't want to see the size of the needle and opted not to watch.

To my complete amazement, it didn't hurt at all. He finished with one vial and asked if I wanted to go ahead and put in the other, noting that it would be tight and be very uncomfortable later that night. I felt brave and let him add the other vial.

To quote my new friend, Stacy, "it is like filling a water balloon and you know when you know it is full but you think just a little more...and you are hoping it doesn't break? Yea..thats me right now."

I only took a few Aleve yesterday afternoon because I had to drive home from work, but once home, I dug into the pain meds. It doesn't so much hurt, it's just very uncomfortable and I had a hard time sleeping.

Two or three more and I should be filled to the brim. Then a six-week wait until surgery. I planning for sometime in early January. Hope it works out!

After Surgery

I'm feeling more complete these days. The prosthethic seemed like part of my life for so long and now I no longer need it. I can wear a bra and look normal! Of course, there is still much to be done, but I'm well on my way.

I spent a good week recovering from surgery. My right breast looks awesome since the lift and will be even better after the implant. This side never bothered me after the surgery.

The left side looks much better than it did, but still has a ways to go. I left the surgery center with a pain pump and a drain. The pain pump was attached by a thin tube under my left armpit. I carried the actual pump in a small bag around my waist. Very strange. I'm not really sure how much it helped, but it continuously provided a numbing medication similar to the Novicane you get in a dentist's office. It even had a button for that extra shot if I needed it. I never really felt the need, but Abby and Bella thought it was fun to push. Don't worry, it was set so that it could never give me more than I really needed!

On Saturday, the pump ran out and Scott had the honor of removing it. Thank goodness he's not bothered by such things. After a quick tug, it was out and I didn't feel a thing. Now to just get rid of the drain!

Everyday I had to empty the drain and record the amount of fluid I collected. I called Dr. Nathan's office on Friday and Debbie said I may be able to have it removed on Monday. No such luck. I was right on the border with my numbers. I even asked her bribe them, but no luck.

On Tuesday, I met with Annie (Dr. Nathan's nurse). She had me breathe deeply three times and then cough while she pulled out the drain. This was a little different from the last time. For my last surgery, the drains were more toward the top of my skin so I could actually see them come out. This was more inside. Didn't hurt, just felt different. It felt great not to be tethered to anything.

I went back to work on Wednesday and felt pretty good by the weekend. We had another successful Halloween and I have pictures to bride Alexis when we start letting her date (like around age 25 or so!) I'll post soon!

My Angels

Before I started chemo, a friend who went through a similar situation, turned me onto this site. So while I went through 16 weeks of treatment, I had two angels who went through it with me.

Crystal filled my mailbox with handmade cards and notes to brighten my day and Barb sent gifts, not only for me, but for the girls as well. They followed my progress via this blog and encouraged me along the way. I was so lucky to have them and inspired to become an angel once I complete reconstruction.

Check out their site and it may inspire you too.

1st Reconstruction Surgery

I had my first reconstruction surgery yesterday and everything went great! No sickness afterwards was a big plus. Currently I am really, really sore on my left side (Dr. Nathan put a small bladder under the muscle and filled it 40% with saline) and a little sore on the right (he performed a lift on this side). I'm at home resting and hopefully will feel more like myself next week. I'll write more later.

I'm Done!

With chemo that is. Last Thursday was the last time poison will be sent coursing through my veins. Scott, Mom, Dad, Becky, and Mary joined me for the final step in this part of my journey.

A huge thanks to all of the nurses at the St. Louis Breast Cancer Institute. They are truly awesome women! Here is Sandra flushing out my port for the last time.

I got to wear the feather boa and crown while everyone cheered and bubbles were blown.

My amazing husband is a continued support for me.

He takes such good care of us.

Mom and Dad are truly awesome. Mom went with me to almost every session while Dad watched the girls. I couldn't have made it through without them.

Mary took me to chemo while mom was out of town. She was always there with gifts, flowers, and fun things for the girls.

With everything that Becky is doing to prepare for my niece and nephews, she always had time for me. She is much more than a sister.

I was so excited to be done, I bought myself a present! The girls are head over heels!

Meet our new family member, Quincy. She a nine-week old Pug.

Now were getting to the exciting part! I just can't wait for my hair, eyebrows, and eyelashes to grow back! I'm scheduled to see Dr. Coplin in six weeks to talk about follow up strategy which will include Tamoxifen and periodic testing. In the meantime, I'm scheduled for the first of three reconstruction surgeries on October 21.

What's wrong with us?

Only three left!! The end is nearly here and not soon enough as the chemo is starting to catch up with me.

At my session last week, my white cell count was 1.30. To get a full round of chemo, the count has to be 1.50. Usually. The nurse spoke with Dr. Coplin and they agreed to give me the full dose with a promise from me that if I felt bad over the weekend, I would call immediately.

I didn't feel any different than I usually do after chemo, but Scott and I talked a lot over the weekend and decided I would call the office on Monday and see about getting a shot to up my white cell count.

First thing Monday morning I called and went in Tuesday to have my blood tested. It was 1.32. Not a huge jump and now I was at risk of not being able to have chemo this week.

Now I know what you're saying--take a week off and relax. But I can't. I'm on a schedule. I expect to be done with chemo on October 2 and I don't want to put it off anymore.

Again, the nurse talked to Dr. Coplin and they gave me a shot of Nupregen. Unlike the Neulasta I got after the AC treatments, the Nupregen takes effect immediately. I was sore most of yesterday and today. But not unbearable.

While the nurse was injecting the Nupregen, my sister called. I let it go to voicemail and listened to the message as I walked out of the office. Panicked, I learned that Scott had cut his arm while dismateling a desk at work and cut his arm pretty badly.

I met him at St. Luke's emergency room, saw the damage, and almost fainted. It took a while before I could open my eyes and not feel dizzy.

They took Scott off to X-ray thinking he may have broken his arm in addition to the cut. Luckily that wasn't the case and we left there with 36 stitches in his arm.

At dinner last night, Bella commented that Lexi's toe hurt, Mom was sick, and Dad now had stitches. What's wrong with our family? How do you answer that one?

Before I forget, here's a glimpse at my new hair growth. Thank God for hair color!

Four to Go

I'm down to four left. The last one is scheduled on October 2. Finally, there is a light at the end of the tunnel!

The start of school and sports have kept me extremely busy. We're also preparing for my nephews and niece to come home shortly!

My hair is starting to grow back (I'll post pictures soon) and I'm starting to get hair back on my legs, which means shaving again. That I didn't miss! I'll feel much better when my eyebrows and eyelashes are back, but that may not be until chemo ends.

I'll have a few weeks "off" before surgery begins again. The first reconstructive surgery is scheduled for October 21. At that time they'll do a lift on the right and put the expander on the left.

For several weeks I'll go in and have the expander filled with saline. Once it's at the size we want (note it will be the size I want and NOT the size Scott is after--sorry honey!) I'll have to wait six weeks before the next surgery. So it looks like sometime in January I'll have the implants put in.

Sometime in November I'll go back to see Dr. Coplin and we'll discuss the side effects of Tamoxifen--the drug I'll have to be on for five years to combat any reoccurance.

So overall, I'm feeling pretty good. I can handle the soreness and tiredness and am looking forward to being done.

Stay tuned for hair pictures. And Donna, be ready with the hair color. I think I'm going to need it!